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Talentless hacks, unfunny creeps, narcissist freaks, everything wrong with standup and Cancel Culture is a fake boogeyman?

tl;dr standup comedy is full of scum and any comedian who blames cancel culture for their career dying is probably a rapist/pedophile trying to bury allegations by pretending that everyone suddenly hates them because they told an offensive joke, instead of the fact that they raped a girl, or they weren't funny to begin with or they lost their spark and need a cope while they fade out of relevancy because they just suck, AND, many successful comedians will pretend they're being 'cancelled' over their jokes just for the publicity

The world of stand up comedy is plagued with some of the most reprehensible, pathetic, egotistical and UNFUNNY people to ever walk the earth. Allow me to preface by saying that I do NOT find myself funny, and certainly not funny enough to sell out arenas, and thus, would not pursue a career in comedy. To even think about pursuing a career in comedy in the first place, almost always requires some sort of grandiose delusion. "I think that I am really funny, in fact, I think that I am funny enough to get paid doing it!" I am not a comedian, I am just a hater, who happens to be a "fan" of comedy. I like to laugh, and so I like watching people who make me laugh, but I find it harder and harder to laugh at mainstream comedy these days. It shouldn't come as any surprise that an industry whose entire purpose is to make people laugh, would attract such unfunny people, because who finds themselves funny more than unfunny people? And the phenomenon of Cancel Culture has been nothing but terrible for the world of standup, BUT NOT FOR THE REASON YOU THINK!

I am a free speech advocate, but I am not against cancel culture in comedy, because I do not believe that it even exists. Whether or not it exists outside of comedy is irrelevant. And I'm not criticising the notion of "cancel culture" from a "woke" perspective. It's not "woke" to think that nobody is owed a fanbase. It's also not "woke" to think that someone losing their fanbase overnight because they did something awful, like rape a woman, is unreasonable. Why shouldn't a person like that be ostracised? Well, how about all the once famous comedians who were cancelled for telling an offensive joke? Telling a joke isn't a terrible crime. It's not a grave sin. And I agree that nobody deserves to have their standup career ruined because they told a joke, unless they blatantly stole it. But that simply doesn't actually happen. Show me ONE SINGLE COMEDIAN whose career was ACTUALLY ruined over a joke they made, and not just because they're washed up, a talentless hack who was never funny to begin with, or because they're a creep/rapist. Because all of the so-called 'cancelled' comedians - who are actually funny and not sex offenders - are doing great! Shane Gillis? Cancelled, right...? well actually his being fired from SNL was the best thing that ever happened to his career. That's an undeniable fact. Huh... Shane Gillis said "chink" and "faggot", but he continues to thrive? Peculiar. Well how about Dave Chappelle? Well, just like Shane, he's doing great these days. So is Joe Rogan, who unlike Gillis and Chappelle, I am not a fan of because Joe Rogan is not funny, but for some reason his podcast is the biggest in the world, which makes him one of the biggest personalities in the world. And he said "nigger" once!!! Why are they doing so well if they were supposedly cancelled by the unrelenting woke mob who is out to get everyone? Are they just untouchable? Bulletproof? No, it's because 99% of people who are already fans of them don't actually care all that much about obvious jokes - and outside of their fanbase, there still just isn't that much outrage. People like Steven Crowder (alleged comedian, political grifter and confirmed wife abuser) make out the "woke mob" to be a lot bigger of a problem than it really is, because his career depends on the existence of "the woke mob". What happened to the comedians who were "cancelled" over mere jokes which sent their careers down the drain, never to be seen again? Well they simply don't exist. "Well what about Michael Richards?" His tirade wasn't really a joke. It wasn't a constructed, thought out piece of comedy with a set up and a punchline, nor was it a spontaneous display of wit. It was an outburst. It was absolutely hilarious, don't get me wrong, I've watched the clip a thousand times over and I laughed every single time. But it's hard to say it was just a joke, and he admits this himself when he says things like "I let anger get the best of me" and "I got swamped by rage". Personally, I don't start telling jokes when I'm angry. But Michael Richards handled it with humility. He didn't whinge about how everyone was "overly sensitive", he took a step back and reflected on himself. He didn't blame anyone but himself. Fast forward to today, where we have top comedians throwing "cancel culture" around like it even means anything. Sometimes they use it to gain publicity, and other times they will use it to try and cover up that they're actually a terrible person, and claim that they're being cancelled over their jokes, rather than their horrible behaviour. Jimmy Carr falls into the first category. Jimmy Carr will stand out in front of a sold out arena audience and say "I'm being cancelled :(" And here's the thing with Jimmy Carr and a lot of other comedians who self describe their comedy style as "dark comedy". They all think they're Lenny Bruce. They think that they're taking comedy and pushing it to its absolute limits, saying things that no one else would dare utter. Here's the thing. It's always tame garbage. Jimmy Carr thinks he's being cancelled, because he's been receiving criticism lately. But if you actually take a minute to read said criticism, you'll find that no one is saying it's "too far". You'll actually find plenty of people saying it's not far enough for what he advertised as his darkest jokes yet. They were simply calling out how unfunny he is. Not how offensive he is. The jokes really aren't offensive by todays standards. They're very safe. It's safe edgy for old people. Here's one of his new jokes: "Having sex is like riding a bike... my uncle taught me when I was a kid." And I'm supposed to die laughing at that? This is supposed to kill me? Cool, you're the 6 trillionth person to make a creepy pedo uncle joke. Very original, very bold. I was telling that same joke to my friends when I was thirteen years old. You're in your fifties. It's all very hacky. And it's very true that all publicity is good publicity, so they desperately want headlines to say "COMEDIAN CANCELLED FOR OUTRAGEOUS JOKES!" because that leads to ticket sales. And they invent these delusions, delusions that they truly are being cancelled, and retarded journalists pick up on it, but they're too stupid to see through it, so the headlines become real. Nobody is being cancelled over jokes.

We also have the comedians, who think cancel culture is the reason they're so disliked, when in reality, people don't like them because they're literally rapists. One such example is Bryan Callen. You may not know who Bryan Callen is, and I wouldn't blame you, he's a nobody, he isn't funny, but he's (allegedly) a rapist. But he whinges about cancel culture. He whinges about free speech. "People don't like me because they're just easily offended liberals..." Get it through your thick retarded ape skull (he actually does look like an ape) that you ARE NOT a likeable person and you were never funny to begin with, and that your detractors are not "cancelling" you because you're a free speech hero or whatever the fuck you seem to think you are, it's because you (allegedly) raped at least four women. Your entire shitty career was a complete fluke, assuming you didn't just suck a bunch of cock to get a MADtv role that nobody remembers, and a bunch of shitty extra roles in movies that no one also remembers. Speaking of sucking cock to get famous, here's another person I don't like in comedy. Joey Diaz. Whose cock did he suck? Actually, he was the one making women suck his cock to boost their careers. He admitted to this. Was he joking? I don't know, doesn't sound like it, but who the hell cares. He just isn't funny. He's a fat, gross slimeball with weird pathetic mobster fantasies and I honestly have no idea how his heart hasn't exploded yet. Have you seen him? Have you heard him talk? There's no way he doesn't have a heart attack before the end of the year. He's gasping for air after every three words. No doubt he's secretly wheelchair bound because I refuse to believe that he's capable of walking more than ten feet by himself without keeling over and dying. Here's a big narcissist that I don't like. Someone who thinks he's God's gift to the world. Mind you, this guy hasn't done anything sexually deplorable (at least to my knowledge), I just don't like him. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tony Hinchcliffe! He's unbearable. His show, Kill Tony, is unbearable. It's a live podcast based in Austin, Texas that invites aspiring comics on stage to perform a minute of their own standup. Sounds commendable, right? Sounds like it could be fun? Well, on paper it sounds like a great idea, but it really just attracts more unfunny people who kinda just want to be him. It's very, very awkward and they're never ever funny. I can't listen to it without feeling an extreme sense of second hand embarrassment, because they, and Tony himself, are like the type of comic I mentioned earlier - the comic who describes their style as "dark humour". They also like to "roast". Tony isn't very good at roasting either. You know when you're in the shower, thinking about an argument you had with someone and you come up with a great comeback, but it's way too late? His jokes are the comedy version of that. He's currently making jokes about that OceanGate submarine. He didn't think of them when they were actually relevant, a whole year ago, but he doesn't understand the concept of missed opportunities. His roasts aren't funny either and he has this really strange fantasy about growing up in a "hood" where he developed roasting as a form of self defence mechanism, and claims that it earned him respect from the black kids that used to bully him, or something like that. Anyone with a brain knows this is made up bullshit, because A - He has a very gay voice that no one would have ever taken seriously, and B - he's terribly unfunny now, so I find it hard to believe he wasn't a million times worse back then. I could go on and on about egotistical comedians and their sleazy behaviour, for hours and hours, but I'm getting hungry and need to make myself some dinner, so I'll just leave it at that. Honourable mentions of unfunny hacks are Bert Kreischer (fat fuck manchild, probably my least favourite apart from Callen), Tom Segura, Andrew Schulz, Brendan Schaub (who's unintentionally really funny because of how pants-on-head retarded he is), Joe Rogan, Matt Rife, and honestly, I never found Tim Dillon funny either, but I'm sure he's a nice guy, and probably not a grifter like everyone else I mentioned.

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